Time for time and why you need it
“We think much more about the use of our money, which is renewable, than we do about the use of our time, which is irreplaceable”
Jean-Louis Servan-Schreiber
This morning, in my online Coaching and Mentoring ILM session, our tutor asked us to pick an object which describes how we were feeling. This was to encourage us to use creativity in our coaching practice.
After a brief eye-roll — metaphors aren’t my thing — I looked around the room for something profound to talk about. I glanced at my phone within which I’d set a 10 minute timer to make sure I didn’t burn my bun which was in the oven — definitely not a metaphor —, then I turned my attention to the clock on the bookshelf. It’s a little radio-controlled clock which is supposed to be completely 100% accurate. In the time the group was given to choose their metaphor item, I had picked up my clock, decided the display looked a bit faded and had dug out some batteries from a drawer nearby. Replacing the batteries, the clock reverted to midnight on Sat 1 Jan and wouldn’t be budged.
I chose the clock because I was feeling against the time - a common feeling in all our lives. I quickly realised the irony of choosing a clock for my metaphor, which I then tried to perfect, only to set me back in time, according to the clock face literally, and causing more frustration. All while also timing my oven in preparation for my later lunch. Food is never far away from my thoughts, it is true!
I shared the story with the group and as others were telling theirs, I noticed that time was something that kept coming up in people’s metaphors regardless of the objects they chose. Among ‘a pile of work’, some lego and empty Ikea boxes, others in the group shared a postcard from a missed loved one, a flower pot showing growth and patience and photos reminding us of calm sunny beaches during down-time. One of my colleagues showed a beautiful bunch of flowers from her garden, signifying the passing of time and preparing for new roots. Time is ever present but rarely given the time itself.
Another mentioned “it reminds me of TS Elliot” who wrote in Four Quartets:
Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
If all time is eternally present
All time is unredeemable.
And the classic from John Lennon:
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
As French writer Jean-Louis Servan-Schreiber (that took some time to type) philosophises in his book ‘The Art of Time’, time is unmodifiable and the only thing we can do is to change our attitude to it. Ultimately time is a resource that’s equal to us all, we don’t save time, we make use of it.
We think much more about the use of our money, which is renewable, than we do about the use of our time, which is irreplaceable.
There are more proximal outcomes going on with our perceptions of time, too. We live and operate in a culture of busyness — as if society is telling us that if we’re not super-busy we are simply not contributing enough. In many organisations and workplaces busyness is a badge of honour, but at what cost (both in and financial and emotional senses)?
When I run workshops on ‘busyness’ (essentially time management), I ask the group to write their ‘to do’ list. I ask them to think about their whole life ‘to do’ list, not just work because, as we know, we bring our whole-selves to work. The idea is that people can use the time to unburden themselves and write it all down.
Try it, it’s ten minutes well spent.
I then ask the group to start a new list of all the things they’ve achieved in the last week — again both in life and at work. This is where it gets tricky. Every time I’ve run the session people struggle to think of the things they’ve done or achieved. The ‘to do’ list will be a full page long list for some, but achievements or the ‘done’ list is where people draw a blank.
This has real synergy with what’s known as the ‘Zeigarnik effect’. A study on waiters showed that at the end of a shift they remember the orders they didn’t complete rather than the ones they did. We are generally better able to recall details of unfinished tasks rather than those finished. The idea that only some of us are completer — finisher (remember Belbin’s teams?) actually applies to us all, so don’t label yourself — we all, if we’re motivated to do so, want to finish things. And this can be detrimental to our stress levels.
What the evidence tells us is that we need to spend some time reflecting on time itself. If we feel we have a lack of time, we will make bad choices and decisions. Scarcity of anything — time, money, food — reduces our mental bandwidth; this is described in psychology as the scarcity trap. Scarcity gives us a tunnel vision making us less creative, less insightful, less forward thinking, less controlled. If you’ve ever been on a diet and limited your food choices or amounts, you’ll know that all you can think about is food.
While it sounds counter productive, we ought to be keeping time aside every day or at least every week to reflect and consider how we’re using our time, as opposed to the seemingly norm of dashing about, not achieving very much. We know from the Attention Restoration Theory in biophilia that taking a pause from your work and diverting your attention to a green and natural view or (even better) taking a walk outside, will increase your accuracy and productivity. Whatever job you do, time to reflect, plan and think is essential — and all sector specific professional or regulatory bodies will tell you so.
Going back to Servan-Schreiber, we are reminded:
“to make us flourish, our actions must have a meaning and involve progress” and “Our obsession with the ‘how much’ and ‘how’ keeps us at a comfortable distance from the ‘why’.”
Tony Crabbe, in his bestselling book Busy, concurs by asking us what is success anyway — what is it we are really wanting to achieve? Many things we do are to tick a box or meet a compliance objective, that’s fine but is there another way of doing things, can we join tasks up, can we delegate? We need time to think about these things, to step back, to take an aerial view of what it is we and our teams are actually doing and achieving in relation to the wider personal and organisational goals and values.
Jane Piper, in her excellent book, Focus in the Age of Distraction, gives us 35 tips for focusing more and working less and, rightly, rounds off by bringing the individualistic thinking — about our own actions and progress — back to workplace culture itself.
Good leaders and managers are looking at the stressors, rather that solely addressing the responses or symptoms of stress, to help people to manage their ‘busyness’ and ultimately mental health.
As well as being aware of the bigger picture and the purpose of our contribution at work (and life) and to address the scarcity of time, we — as individuals — also need to tune in to the elements of working and societal culture which are causing stress or excessive busyness. Both of these perspectives need time itself. It’s not navel-gazing, it’s useful reflective time.
Back to my ILM metaphor, two things to conclude:
Firstly — despite my initial eye roll, the metaphor exercise was enlightening, interesting and led me to reflect on my own responses to new ideas, and ultimately write this piece. That’s one thing that wasn’t on my to-do list today, but still got done.
Secondly—time is so many things. The past, the present, the future. The hands on a clock, the body clock, the world clock. Time is unique to us in different cultures and as individuals, and yet time comes for us all with a lifetime’s weight of expectations and pressures. Give your time the time it deserves.
And that is what coaching, mentoring, or simply a ‘trusted conversation’ (as my fabulous mentor calls it) is at its most valuable. To give you time to reflect, plan, think and be present.
To the people who have left us too early but leave us with a reminder that life and our time is precious. Don’t let anyone burden you with their idea of time and stick with yours. Sent with a hug.
Until the next… time.
xxx
